Divorce is a very hard procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce advices Actively engage in activities that will generate joy and/improve your self-esteem. “In the months during and after my divorce, I ran my first half marathon, traveled, enrolled in a wilderness basics course, backpacked, and went dancing at least once a month. I did these things even when I didn’t want to, even when I felt low and wanted to crawl into bed. Slowly, with time, I regained my confidence, self-respect, and self-love.”
It will help if you try to keep things as normal as possible in your life. Do not skip meals or change sleeping habits. Positive routines like using your to-do list and calendar will help you keep focus. Exercise is always a great way to relieve stress. Try not to isolate yourself from your friends. Try to maintain a positive outlook and do not let yourself be lured into needless conflicts with your spouse. You will need his signature on a settlement agreement before your divorce is over. You will still be parents together for years after the divorce. Take it one day at a time. Focus on the present and not the past. Try to control only those things within your control. Many things in a divorce are outside of your control but you cannot blow those things out of proportion. Make a plan and work on it. That is how you will take control of your divorce and not let it take control of you.
The best divorce advice I ever received was, “Don’t get even, get better!” Instead of directing negative energy toward your ex, generate that power toward bettering yourself. When my ex-husband and I separated and divorced, I returned to graduate school and finished my doctorate degree. I used all of my energy to empower myself toward complete self-reliance and independence. That is the very best place from which to enter your next relationship. If you are the one wanting the divorce, get all financial records copied before your mate is aware so there’s no vanishing money once you file the papers. And copy everything that could have an impact on the outcome — from checkbooks to bank statements to investment accounts. It’s much easier to avoid the “he said, she said” arguments with proof in your hands! And if at all possible, agree to use a mediator. You will save thousands of bucks but it will only work if you’re both game.
Work together with a divorce financial planner or tax accountant to minimize the total taxes you and your spouse will pay during separation and after divorce; you can share the money you save. Don’t forget that both spouses are liable for taxes due as a result of audits on joint returns, so it’s usually in your best interest to work together and minimize possible liabilities. If you’re facing complicated tax issues in your divorce, it’s best to consult with an experienced family law attorney and an accountant. Divorcing spouses usually underestimate living expenses when they produce their initial budget for temporary alimony (also referred to as “maintenance”), and later find that they aren’t able to cover all of their bills. Use a financial professional to help you produce an accurate and complete budget.
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